Let that shit go

True freedom is the art of letting shit go gracefully.

You ever have a moment where a light bulb goes off in your head and you think A HA!

I finally got it!


I myself have reached that pinnacle of pleasure time and time again when it comes to understanding why I have caused myself so much unnecessary drama and agony.


Because I my friends, have a hard time letting shit go.


Ask yourself these few questions:

A. When someone does something that is unkind does affects my mood and energy?


B. When someone says something painful it consumes my thoughts until I can address it?


C. When I have really been looking forward to something and it does not go as planned does it upset me?


If your answer to any of these is YES

You too have a difficult time letting shit go.


And that's OKAY!


But if we know this to be true then we can choose to actively work on it can we not?


So, will you? Or will you allow yourself to be swept away by the breeze of life's uncertainty getting upset and bothered by everything that takes a turn, hurt by every ill-intentioned person to cross your path?


I think not.


Let me tell you how I have been strengthening my ability to let shit go:


1. Identify the trigger point

I spent an entire month actively noticing and writing down when things would make me feel

uneasy, uncomfortable, and when my head would fixate on the same thing over and over again.


What did I discover?

That life does what it will always do but my reaction to it is what caused my disease for so many years(read that again).

Ways it showed up:


My Mood

My energy and mood would be the first to shift. Anyone who knows me knows I come from a very expressive family and our faces tell it all.

I would sometimes feel a drop in energy, desire, and other times just a straight attitude!

Who can relate?

Things going unexpectedly would shift me in an unsavory direction of angst. I could go from a great mood to an attitude quite quickly and when I sit back to think about it, it has caused a lot of drama in my past.


So how do we find the root?

We break it down.


We must identify the moment in which our energy and mood shifts in an experience so we can find the root of the discomfort, the trigger point.


Here's an example:

Have you ever really liked someone and you get so excited to connect with them, a meeting, a date, or experience and then they cancel plans last minute without much detail to why and it really messes up your mood, sometimes your whole day?

You start to think, did I do something wrong? Do they not like me like I thought? Should I give them space?

Your mind tries to fix something that truly IS NOT A BIG DEAL

But you can't seem to let it go. You're upset, you're low key offended.


Your mind plays countless hypothetical scenarios in your head. You find yourself distracted by it, or checking your phone constantly to see if they follow up just so you can make sense of why they canceled on YOU. You become fixated.


In this example;

How it seems:

I am triggered when someone changes plans last minute

What is the action causing the discomfort

Change


What is the true root ( the action causing your shift of peace)

Change


So we found the root, change can sometimes trigger us.

And for a number of reasons, maybe when we were younger we had no say in the changes that went on in our family and we felt unheard or helpless.

Perhaps we moved a lot and we never were able to make many friends or truly settle in.


There can be countless reasons why change triggers your discomfort and once you recognize the trigger point you can then begin to unpack that more and explore it.

You give yourself the position to notice it when it arise and choose how you respond to it.


Now if you are reading this and are defending yourself like "well I am fine with change, it's just when people are not considerate and change plans last minute".

Then this is especially for YOU.


You're in denial my friend.


Change does affect you.


If it did not, in this scenario you would be able to say:

"Okay, I understand life flows unexpectedly. I look forward to when the time aligns".

And let it be that.

No harsh feelings, no sleep lost, and genuine peace.


Feel a difference?

One consumes me, the other I release and has no real affect on my peace.


Now that I have identified the trigger, WHAT NOW?



2. Stay neutral


Why we get upset when things do not go our way is because we've formed an attachment to it. We have in our minds become attached to a particular outcome.



Here's how we LET THAT SHIT GO


-We stay non attached to any outcome.

-We remember that what people go through in their life is just that, their life and it's not for us to take personal.

-We remind ourselves to flow and that it will align at the right time.

-Breathe in moments of discomfort, choose response rooted in peace instead of reaction.

Enjoy the moment.

Whether we go on 50 dates or just one, living fully in each moment without trying to plan every step of the future will help us let go in the moment and find peace in living in flow.

-Embrace change, it is inevitable.


They say

How you respond to one thing, is the way you respond to everything.